Phonetic Evaporation and Precipitation

“…(W)hen a Bostonian “pahks his cah in Hahvahd yahd”, the missing /r/’s are not lost. Instead, they evaporate, aerosolizing and floating up into the æther. They travel with the prevailing dialect currents and precipitate down in Texas and other places, where people “warsh” clothes, dishes, and cars, and cook “squarsh”. In this case, the /r/ is not only conserved, but relatively untransformed and easy to identify. By plotting the prevalence of words like “pahk” and “cah” and “warsh” and the less-

common “squarsh”, some enterprising graduate dialectologist could likely map location, direction, and strength of major /r/-carrying dialect currents and readily wring a dissertation from the effort.”

                                                Trey Jones, the Speculative Grammarian, June 2011

http://specgram.com/

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One Response to Phonetic Evaporation and Precipitation

  1. Jim says:

    This is an extension of the law of conservation of energy. As a corollary to this article, there appears to exist an anti-Evaporation and Precipitation field in the universe. Noted in the article above, the /r/’s that evaporate from Massachusetts are transported to Texas and are buffered in the ether to be precipitated at a later time. There exists a time warp region just south of Boston in New York City. The observed behavior of the /r/’s in this anti-grammerverse relates directly to time travel. Here. the behavior of the /r/ is to appear in a word in the sentence prior to the word in which it was expected. After working in the Data Processing field for many years, or IT as it’s known today, the climate controlled rooms which housed the computers, tape drives and disks were known as data centers. In the time warped gramerverse of NYC it is known as a dater centah.
    Also noteworthy is the manufacturer of the computers in the datar centa is Hewlert Packahd.
    One of the data centers staff members name was Lisa Carver, want to take a guess at how her name was pronounced????, I kid you not!!!!

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